So, it’s been a minute! I have had the craziest last couple of months that have really knocked me on my ass! I feel like I am finally coming up for some air, and it is perfect timing, right at the new year.
People have such strong feelings about new year’s resolution, have you noticed that? I feel like everyone asks, and you find such a wide range of responses. There are people that feel like coming up with a life changing goal isn’t something that will magically happen because one digit of our year has a changed. This isn’t a fairy tale and there isn’t some magic wand that will make you change at the stroke of midnight.
Then there are other people that really believe in the magic of the new year. They fully believe in resolutions and being their best selves in the new year. They come up with a plan and have this notion that this new year will be their fresh start and their best year yet!
I fall more in the middle. To me, the magic of new years is like anything in life, if you believe it will be a motivator for you, then it will. If you are not committed to your goals and changes you would like to make, then wishing for them with kiss at midnight won’t make them happen.
I wanted to get in better shape for 2018, and I had a little success, and a lot of setbacks. I believe in the power of goals and always striving to be your best self. It is up to you what that motivator is. If it is the idea of a blank slate with the new year, and setting goals you are committed to keeping, then do it!
For my 2019 resolutions I am striving to work on two major goals; getting healthy and getting my anxiety under control.
Now, I have been working on these, somewhat, last year also. I did fall into the horrible pit of stress eating the last couple months. Not my shiniest moment sitting at my kitchen table in the middle of the night stress eating a big piece of chocolate cream pie, drinking a glass of red wine, and making lists of all the things I need to get done the next day. There is something about Jewel’s chocolate cream pie that eating it makes my sadness and stress go away. Well, at least for the 10 minutes I’m eating it.
I am proud to say I am on day 2 of healthy eating. I hate using the word diet, because I feel like that is some short term, temporary change that will have an end date. I am using the app, “Noom” and I have a coach that motivates me and gives me goals and it is going great! I don’t know about you, but I really need a good kick in the ass sometimes, and this seems to do that. I know I am only 24 hours in, so this is a little premature appreciation.
For my anxiety, my husband gave me an apple watch for Christmas, and it has this breath tool on it, and reminds me to focus on my breathing for 60 seconds. That has been wonderful! Again, I’ve only been doing this for 3 days, but baby steps, right? I have also been going to counseling for little while. For some reason that line is a little scary to write, and even though I don’t feel embarrassed that I have been talking to someone, I am definitely someone that has a hard time asking for help. It is hard and feels a little bit like you are failing when you can’t handle your emotions on your own. At least that is how I felt when I first started, but you know what? I am now giving myself slack and know its failing if you don’t do anything about it.
So, for 2019 I am making it about me. Another sentence that after I type it makes me feel like a selfish whore that is not winning any mom of the year awards. But no! It actually does make me a great mom. I could say I do everyone thing for everyone else, nothing for me, and be left the shell of a person who is a total bitch and horrible to be around. I don’t think that is a great example. By getting healthy physically and mentally I think it will make me a better mother, wife, and overall human.
So here is to 2019, and may all of our resolutions be real life changing actions and not bright ideas that fizzle out and are swept up off the floor like the new years confetti that stays in my damn carpet for at least two months!