Are you afraid? Do you think you aren’t strong enough? Are you afraid you won’t finish? Are you so sad that you are here and that you let yourself get here?
These were all things that would go through my head. For two years I went to the gym on and off. (Hell, let’s be honest, for the last 15 years) I would get dedicated for a little bit, eat okay, and then stop going. I always felt good when I finished. But if I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror I would want to cry. This wasn’t me. At least it wasn’t what I thought I looked like. When I was in my 20s I was fit. Super fit! Lifted weights and did a TON of step aerobics. (DATING MYSELF!!!!) I loved working out and my body showed it. Funny part is, I was never happy with my body. My JLo booty always had me wishing I wasn’t so “big”. I look back now and think DAMN, I was so tiny!
I know I have talked about this before, but it is something I have really struggled with. My 30s and 40s have been a huge struggle with my weight. Three beautiful babies, always a full time job and well, just life! YES, LIFE! And I love food! I love to cook and bake and make deliciousness! And if I am sad, OMG, get me some sweets fast! Emotional eating always makes me feel oh so good!
Well, until the last bite. You know the one I am talking about. The last bite of the ice cream or donut. And you physically feel sluggish from all of the sugar. And then you emotionally feel ick. I would hate myself in those minutes.
Once or twice a year I would have a really good fitness obsession. I would lose about 10 to 15 pounds and I am thankful that I dedicated myself in that way because the alternative would have been a lot more weight gain.
YO – YO! Up…down. Up…. down. Up….down.
In August of this year I took a huge leap of faith. I was scared, sad, beating myself up, and just generally miserable that I was where I was. I had to look at that full body scan (OMG, I cried!) They would take videos of us doing the work and I would look at it and think, “that’s not me! That can’t be me!”. But it was. I looked like an idiot trying to do the work. I did. But that didn’t stop me. I committed to the 6 weeks and there was no out now. I took a 6 week challenge and Lord, have mercy, I am one competitive girl! Thank God!
It was at a crossfit gym and the workouts were hardcore. Every day I would hobble home already sore. I committed to three days a week and also to a very clean diet. THE DIET IS THE HARDEST PART! If I was the creator of the human race I would redesign this part. If you work that damn hard, you should be able to eat whatever the hell you want! COME ON! But that’s not the way it works. YOU CANNOT WORKOUT OF A BAD DIET!!!!!! I have to play that one on repeat in my head all the time! It just isn’t fair!!!!! Can you tell I am passionate about that one? LOL! But I didn’t create the human race and those aren’t the rules! Bottom line!
So, I jumped in and dedicated myself. I love it from day one! I absolutely love the way it makes me feel. I love how strong I am becoming. I am getting stronger every single day. I can do more every single day than I could do yesterday. And that is pure fuel for me!
Hey, it might not be for you! I chased yoga and some other things these past 2 years because I was thinking they were the “right” thing. Guess what? It’s a personal journey and you have to DO YOU!!!!!
Crossfit, Latin dancing/Zumba, dancing classes (Oh, I love to dance!), yoga, running, pilates, kickboxing, boxing, strength training, hiking, pure barre, step aerobics (I won’t judge, I love it!) …. The bottom line is, find it. Find it! Find your passion. Find your physical passion. Feed your fitness. And stop eating all the garbage every day.
You will feel so much better. If we committed to ourselves as much as we commit to everything else in this world, I often wonder what kind of a world we would live in. I imagine it would be happier. Everyone would be happier, calmer, less stressed, more forgiving, genuine and less rushed! Honestly, that’s what I see.
CARVE IT OUT! Find yourself. Do it for you. It’s not just the physical outward appearance of your body. It’s the inner mental health of your brain and soul. You deserve to be happy. This will help you achieve that. I promise!
Take the leap! Here is your push! Here is your wake up call. Just do it! Everyone has to have a day 1. Let today be yours!
HUGS! It’s so hard! I KNOW! Believe me, I know! But I am doing something about it and feeling better EVERY….. SINGLE….. DAY!
And btw, you are beautiful! You truly are beautiful!!!! If you feel that way every day, then you are RIGHT WHERE YOU NEED TO BE! I didn’t feel that way, that’s why I am writing this. I feel like there may be some other people out there feeling the way I was feeling about myself. Today, I am right where I want to be! And getting stronger and better every day!