There are different times during the year, certain holidays, that make me reflective. One of those times for sure is my birthday. Tomorrow I will be turning 36, and for some reason this feels like kind of a big one to me. I often say how I don’t feel like I’m in my mid 30’s. Inside I feel like a 20 something, and maturity wise when I am laughing because someone mentioned balls, and I shouldn’t laugh about something like that, I feel more like 13.
So, when I reach these milestones, I like to give myself birthday goals for the year. These aren’t wishes, because I think when you make a wish you want something to just happen to you or for you, these are things I am going to work my ass off to achieve.
I really want to look hot AF at my brother in law’s wedding in October. This is my first goal, because it is going to come up the quickest. Dieting and I are fickle friends, and it can be so hard to stick with it. I am tired of the excuses though, and I just really want to put on a dress, do my hair and makeup and feel pretty. I am not going to throw a weight goal out into the universe because I know how weight can fluctuate, and for me it’s not about the scale, it’s about the dress. My only goal here is eat right and exercise, and allow myself the time to shop for me, and not clearance, to find the most amazing dress.
Next I am going to do what I am passionate about this year. I am going to have something that brings me joy. I don’t like shouting out my strengths, but I love being creative, party planning, and just being a little extra. I am going to put time aside for myself to focus on that. When I lay down at night and realize I didn’t do anything for myself I wanted to that day, I feel so bad. I let my week swallow my time, and there are a million excuses that are completely valid. Usually it’s the same, work was crazy, the kids schedule was insane, or the laundry pile became so huge that I actually named it and Fred could no longer be ignored. The things is, all of those things are constant. There will not be a time this year that any one of those things, especially Fred, will not be happening. So my goal is to give myself the gift of passion time.
Last I want to definitely make more time for the women in my life. I love my home, husband, and kids, and when I walk through my front door at the end of the day I feel joy. Sometimes, though, I feel like I don’t allow or push myself to make enough plans to just be Colleen outside of those walls. My friends and even my family laugh at my inappropriate comments, and I know I am the first one to throw out a good back door reference. I think I make those jokes and embrace in innuendo like that is because it feels like Colleen. It’s not something when I’m in Mommy Mode I would say, or when I am talking to a client, or setting up a function. It is my sense of humor and I can feel the most myself when I do that.
So here’s to 36! Here is to a dress that will make everyone in the room go from 6 to 12 when I walk into the wedding. Here is to my passion, and making time for it, and being able to share it with the world. Last, here is to my friends and family and spending some amazing moments this year together. I have to say this life has had some ups and downs, but I am loving this ride!