I mean I really wanted to hit her. I didn’t though. I mean she was only 10, and I realize my anger was totally irrational. But I swear that is a mother’s love, irrational! Okay, context, you need it! Here it is, my daughter is getting ready for her big dance recital this weekend. She has had long dress rehearsals this week, and they are at her studio. During the second day of rehearsals something embarrassing happened to Brooke in front of not only her class, but every single girl that is participating in her recital.
I’m not going to tell you what happened because one day she may read my blog, and I don’t want to add any more stories to what she will one day be telling her therapist. I will just say it was embarrassing, and she told me about it the whole way home in the car. She had tears in her eyes when she said she didn’t want to go back to the studio the following night. We had to go to a mandatory meeting; she finally made company at her studio, which is a big deal! She had been wanting to be asked to be a part of this elite group of dancers for the last several years, but now she just wasn’t ready to face her peers again.
I looked at my daughter’s sweet face full of worry and fear having to go back to be with the girls in her class. I took this moment to tell her not to fear! Everyone has embarrassing moments in their lives. I have them on a regular basis as an adult. The best thing you can do is walk back into that studio with your head held high, and just be your wonderful happy self.
SO, we got to the meeting and all the girls are sitting on the dance floor while all of the moms and a couple dads are sitting in folding chairs bordering the room. Brooke’s age class of girls were sitting in a circle in the middle, and I picked a chair close, so Brooke could sit with her classmates. As soon as I sat down, the loudest little girl in her class, brought up what had happened at rehearsal, and all the girls started to laugh at Brooke.
Right then and there I wanted to go up to that little girl, and tell her that she was a complete bitch and is going to wake up one day with no job, no purpose, and no friends. I wanted to ask her where and who her mother is, so I can let that hooker know what kind of asshole she is raising, and maybe if she stopped turning tricks and started to teach her daughter how to be a kind person she wouldn’t be making other kids cry.
But, I can’t do that. I acknowledge rational Colleen can see this is a slight overreaction. I can’t be the psycho mom in the dance studio pulling another mom’s hair while calling her a hooker, that’s just not a good look, and not what I want Brooke to see.
Here’s what takes me by surprise when I am faced with a situation of another kid being an asshole; I am always taken aback by how angry I feel with the child. What gives this little shit the ability to make my sweet angel feel less than them?
My moments of rage are typically followed by moments of clarity, and this was no different. My issue isn’t with the asshold child; okay, obviously a little of my issue is with the punk ass kid, but more of my issue is with my child’s reaction. As a parent you always want better for your children, and I have always struggled with sticking up for myself. I am struggled with facing my antagonizers. I also chose that word very carefully. I don’t think I was bullied growing up, but I did have my run ins with mean girls and peers in general that would make mean comments. I always was the limpy gazelle in the group; the easy target. I could see at the time that if I could just hold my head up high and tell the pricks at high school that their opinions meant zero to me, then they would have stopped making fun of what I wore, or my lack of significant other relationships. I just couldn’t though. I would feel stuck and scared to say something.
So now, I am responsible for two humans. I am trying to make my two little humans face their fears and in this case their own antagonists. On the way home from the meeting I told Brooke, listen, there are going to be times when people make fun of you or laugh at something you say or do. You need to be able to be able to laugh too. Don’t let them see they have bothered you. You know what, if someone else had done something embarrassing, you may have laughed too. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are a terrible person, or you should be ashamed. You need to own what you do and who you are! (Okay, I know I went a little over the top, but I would really like to have a little warrior princess on my hands!) Your next rehearsal is on Friday. If it comes up again, just say I know! I can’t believe I did that! And laugh! They will move on to the next thing really quick.
I just dropped Brooke off at her Friday rehearsal, and we listened to music and had our own carpool karaoke on the way. I told her to have so much fun, and to tell me all about it when she gets home. She hugged me and she told me, “Don’t worry mommy! I will laugh and be fine. I love you!”
OMG! Love that girl! Hell to the yeah Brooke! In the words of our favorite pop artist to sing along to on the way to dance, “Shake it off!” And if that doesn’t work and that mean girl is still being rude, don’t ever forget, Mommy will hurt a bitch.