I’m in a funk, a real funk. I’m feeling overwhelmed both personally and professionally, and this cold wet Chicago weather is depressing. I’m digging real deep to keep it together but today was my breaking point. I showed up to a swim birthday party today and the party was yesterday. WTF is wrong with me! I could see the disappointment on my poor Allison’s face and my stomach immediately went to knots. Fortunately, she thought it was funny and was very forgiving. I gave her a good squeeze and we laughed then went out to lunch and ice cream. I know it’s not the end of the world and if this is my biggest problem then I’m doing pretty good.
It just seems that are lots of little things slipping … family dinners are rare, house a mess, I think the milk in the fridge is not hormone free, kids are way late on yearly physicals, I need to schedule a mammogram, Alli keeps missing words on the spelling tests, can she read yet?, I need to organize Earth Week enrichment for school, my mind is spinning thinking of everything that I need and want to accomplish but simply don’t have the time. I’m also unnerved with aging … I just had my 30 year grammar school reunion, realized that I graduated college 20 years ago (yes, I was on the six year plan) and will be married 20 years this September. OMG that went so fast and the next 44 years of my life will go even faster (that’s what all my seniors tell me) and I still have so much that I want to achieve. Do you see how scrambled and all over the place I am with my thoughts ….. AAH!
AND now it’s time to reboot …. Ask what keeps me sane? Running, church and wine. It’s my stop, drop and roll.
As soon as I got home (after stopping at Walgreens to buy Allison a toy and Always discreet pads for bladder leaks), I ran. I ran fast and hard to clear my mind. I then rounded up the troops and we went to 5 p.m. mass. During the Hail Mary, I could feel my spirit rise. Honest to God … I immediately felt clarity. There were lots of familiar faces at church and I got the best hug from a friend. And now as I’m writing this (and ignoring my family and dirty dishes), I’m enjoying a nice glass of red wine.
Let go, let God. Tomorrow is a new day.