Detox: a process or period of time in which one abstains from or rids the body of toxic or unhealthy substances; detoxification.
Oh January, January, January … my month to pause, reset and free my mind.
There was nothing specific that was unhealthy and it wasn’t that I was unhappy. I was just wound up so tight that I wasn’t able to think clearly anymore. I didn’t even realize it but there were little clues. I was too quick to judge, snappy and my mood was just so so .. and that’s not me. I’m genuinely , positive, patient and grateful. Sadly that wasn’t me the last part of 2019. I was spiraling into a person and parent that I did not want to become (work, wine, work, wine and dwelling on problems). I knew it was time for me to regroup and thankfully being laid off from my job gave me the opportunity.
I ate clean, limited drinking, ran and prayed. I also abstained from most things work related and laser focused on my health and family. We all went to the dentist, I’m learning third grade math, perfecting my chicken noodle soup and most importantly, I had time to think.
OK so big deal, I was lost and now I’m found. Why should you care? Why do I feel the need to share? Well, I’m an open book and all about lessons learned so let me help you not make the same mistakes. All obvious but brutal reminders.
- You are replaceable at work. YOU are 100% replaceable. People come and go and the work continues. I know I’m a fantastic leader, a hard worker and a favorite manager … but I’m gone and everything is A-OK. Guess what? You are not replaceable at home. Your partner and kids need you now … there is nothing more important. Family first.
- Time goes fast. Really, really f’n fast. I know all you young parents are sick and tired of hearing it but trust me … time flies by. My first baby is a junior in high school and will be off to college in less than two years. Leaving and might not come back home to live. I don’t want to miss one second of time living under the same roof as her. There is nothing more important to me. She is who I need coach, she needs me to build up her resume, she needs my help with conflict management, she needs to understand critical thinking and what it means to communicate to win AND most importantly she needs me, her Mom.
- Life changes on a dime and people die. Gone forever. GONE. Make time for your parents, family and friends. Be present and think about your own legacy. We are all running out of time so make it worthwhile. I’ve had lots of abrupt and tragic losses so can’t help but think about death. I want to work to live, not live to work. I tend to do the second.
Can you have it all? Absolutely, but you need to be mindful and manage your time. Be as passionate about your home life as you are about your work life. Maybe you already are … I wasn’t and wish someone had told me. This was absolutely my own choice. I was deep in my role, loving every second of helping a company grow, building my network and setting a good example of a solid work ethic for my kids. But in the blink of an eye, I missed out on the other parts of my life; my health, my friends, my hubby and most importantly my kids. You see I was doing it all for them but lost myself.
I’m absolutely not saying to throw in the towel if you are working or thriving in your career. I’m simply saying own your own time, protect it and find your balance. If you are in a leadership position, set the tone so your people know that you value their personal time. Tell them and lead by example. This will be one of the first things that I establish in my next role. If you are in a position or work for a company that simply can’t accommodate personal time, then reconsider if that’s what you really want right now. Consider what you are missing.
I’m all about the hustle and keeping busy. That’s when I thrive but there’s a need for time management and not feeling guilty about personal obligations. Take time for yourself to eat healthy, exercise and enjoy your family. I guarantee that you’ll be more valuable to your employer in the long run. It has been hard to step back and remove myself from the mix. It’s crossed my mind more than once that taking a month off is too long and silly enough, I’m afraid that people will forget about me.
Regardless, I’m back. Back running, back eating healthy, back to Pilates, grateful and enjoying the present moment in my semi-messy house. I’m where I’m needed at this time in my life and know what I want my future to look like.
The outcome: life is short, family first, still hate housekeeping and 2020 is my year for once in a lifetime experiences.
February’s focus will be continued fitness, finances and go after my dream job. I’m also going to sleep train Allison (better late than never). Stay tuned.
- Cornered upstairs in the hall by Mark and Maddi, what are you doing up here? You don’t ever come up here. OMG – please don’t start coming up here. They were so serious and looked concerned! Me – there is a new sheriff in town!
- Me telling Mark that I’m finding myself. Him telling me to find myself at CostCo not WholeFoods.
- Clean living led me to vodka, I’m not ready. I’ll try again when I’m a bit more mature … thinking 55!
- My family has asked me in so many ways to stop making chicken noodle soup.
- Maddi is really really uncomfortable with my insistent 20 second hugs.
Interesting tidbits –
New find: Fit Vine Wine
Agree: Facebook is the new cigarettes: Marc Benioff, CEO of SalesForce