There are many directions my pen can take. There are so many things to document and share. Who am I? That’s not an easy question to answer. I am many different things. I am driven, passionate, and complex. I think the most honest word is complex. I always say I have lived 9 lives. And those 9 lives have created one very complex person. There were moments of dysfunction and abuse. These things created a survivor. There were moments of fairy tales and bliss. These created a dreamer. And there were moments of love and loss. These created a kindness crusader. Through all of this, I became uniquely me.
Aren’t we all complex? Humans have the unique ability to manifest thoughts that can in and of themselves create reality. You are what you think you feel. Read that again. You are what you think you feel. Free will and manifested emotion are 2 things that will allow you to create whatever world you want to live in. I have always believed this to be true!
For the most part I live in a happy little bubble. But it is not one that was built by naivety and without struggle. Quite the contrary is true. It is through struggle and dysfunction, that my bubble was created. It was created by what I will allow and what I will not allow to be my reality. Luckily I was young the first day I stood up for what I would NOT allow to happen. At 14 years old I left home. I was given a second chance to rewrite my story and I took it! To say I never looked back would be false. It took a lot of courage to do what I was doing, but I also knew I could not allow myself to continue to live in the environment that I called home.
Today, my reality is far from that one. I count my blessings and I am determined to leave that world far behind me. I’ve charted a course that I am proud of. And I strive to encourage everyone to trust in their instincts and stand up for who they want to be. We all have a legacy we want to leave behind. That is mine!
My life is lived with the knowledge with 100% certainty that I am the one that creates my own happiness and sadness. It is up to me to bring myself through my lows and to focus on the positives. It is up to me to make sure I have a grateful heart and to never ever ever (singing Taylor Swift here of course) lose sight of all that I have been through. My past is what allows me to focus on my future and focus on the positive.
Am I saying I am always happy? NO! But I do pride myself on the fact that I have made my world one that I am in complete control of. And there are some simple things that I want to make sure are present for my littles.
I want them to know they are wanted, they are loved beyond compare and that I will always be here for them. And above all else, I have to somehow teach them that they are 100% responsible for their happiness and well being.