So, how I really wanted to title this blog is people pleaser + parent = pussy, because who doesn’t love a good alliteration, and that is 100% accurate. I have been a total pussy as a parent to my kids as they are entering their young teen years.
To my core, the very essence of my being is to make others around me happy. I can’t explain to you the feeling I get when I know someone is genuinely disappointed or angry with me. Actually, I can. It is like a small woodland creature, perhaps a chipmunk is burrowing holes in my abdomen. So yea, quite uncomfortable.
This aversion to other people’s dislike of me or my actions does not translate well to disciplining my children. Recently, my son was not doing well in school. The hard part for me was it was a matter of laziness and not a situation where he didn’t understand the material. His history teacher emailed me and stated he was concerned about Ricky’s attention in class, and that his grade had slipped to a 68% because he didn’t turn in 4 assignments. I talked to Ricky about it, and he had done all 4 assignments, but just neglected to hit the “turn in” button on the top of the google classroom page. WTF kid????
I need him to understand a lesson here; I need him to understand follow-through, and completing a job all the way through. I grounded him for a week from his computer and electronics. I think it was fair and I explained exactly why he was grounded, but the look of pure hatred in his eyes shook me to my very core. Instantly flashes of Oxygen shows of “kids who snapped” ran through my mind. Also, when I was able to take things down a notch, guilt coursed through me because, in the covid world, my son is e-learning, and lacrosse was canceled, so his only social interaction with his friends through his online gaming.
Hold the judgment, Karen, on me letting him play too many video games. A well-respected neuroscientist, Jane McGonigal, let me know the positives of online gameplay and social interaction for adolescents. Keep your shitty thoughts to yourself!
Anyway, long story short, I contacted his teacher to verify the submitted all his work, and I lightened the sentence to 2 days. To myself, I justified it because he HAD actually done the work, and he does need to have some social time with his friends. I’m not trying to raise Norman Bates, although Normal really seemed to like his mother….sooooo… No, I’m totally kidding, that is an unhealthy relationship.
Don’t even get me started with Brooke. I’ll save the story of how I ended up apologizing to her for her disrespectful comments for another time. I can only share one story of my complete pussidom at a time.
Happy Friday! Miss you all! Also, I hope I have not upset anyone with the posting of this story. Damnit!