Leaving the house: A comedy of errors

One of my old teachers used to say, “to be on time is late, to be early is on time.” After having children I’d like to add: Being on time with a toddler is impressive, being on time with a newborn is a miracle.

Monday baby T hits the 2-weeks new mark, which also means I’m entering my 3rd week of leave.  It’s been relaxing and a test of my ability to slow down.

By nature, I’m a busy and efficient person.  I like to leave the house on the weekends and run all of my errands at once if possible – bop here, stop there, load up the car and when I’m home, I’m done.

Being home these last few weeks has been the exact opposite of that.  We have all the time in the world, so there’s no need to rush around – and with T almost exclusively nursing we usually have a 2 hour window between feedings to accomplish anything that involves leaving the house and we try to get out once a day for some fresh air.  It’s definitely possible to feed him elsewhere, but traveling with J adds another layer of complexity. The idea of trying to wrangle/convince him to hang out in a fitting room for 30+ minutes while I feed the baby sounds nearly impossible and like a story for another day.

Point being – these days, it’s all about timing and this week despite our best laid plans leaving the house for a shopping trip left me cracking up as I rolled down the driveway (once we finally got into the car).  I’m sure new and seasoned parents can relate. I give to you, this week’s comedy of errors:

Family nap time typically runs anywhere from 12:30p-3p depending on the day and what our morning was like.  And yes, everyone in the house is sleeping at some point in the window, it’s a sacred time. On Wednesday we decided to hit Sara Boo Creek to make a name sign for T’s room and door to complete the nursery.  They closed at 5p and their Plainfield location is only about 20 minutes from us – easy peasy.

While the boys were sleeping we cut our naps short and got everything ready for a quick getaway.  C put our new double stroller together and we pre-packed the diaper bag – extra outfit for T, diapers for all and snacks for J. (Check, Check, Check).

After the stroller assembly was complete C came up to tell me that it didn’t actually fit in either of our vehicles (Um…WTH?!).  Feeling like there was no way that was possible (the Accord could comfortably pack 3 adults in the trunk and the Cube has moved an entire apartment) I gave it a go.  NOPE. Well, shoot. There goes the neighborhood. J will walk and we’ll take the snap in stroller – moving on.

Time check: 3:15p and both boys are still sleeping. To make sure we get there before they close and we have enough time to make our signs we should leave no later than 3:30p.  

Let’s pack a dinner for J since we’re going to stop at Chipotle for a fundraiser after signs – there’s no way he’s going to eat anything but chips and chocolate milk there.  That will give them a few more minutes to sleep.

Take along dinner made, both boys still sleeping. Time to wake T up and feed him.

Time check: 3:45p, T is fed: nursed and a small bottle of formula to help tide him over while we stop for dinner.  J is still sleeping and the car is just about loaded. Time to wake him up.

Now the fun begins…

C and J start to get loaded up into the car.  I get T. He has a blow out diaper just as he’s getting put into his car seat.  Unload him, lay him on the dining room table (changing mat underneath!) and get to changing his diaper.  Look up and he’s got a milk leak streaming out of his mouth. Quickly fold the new diaper up over his little body and carry him to the kitchen sink to get cleaned up.  Once that’s managed, back to the dining room table to finish the diaper change and get snapped back up. Snapped up and ready to roll…blow out number two. Unsnap, diaper change – no milk spit up this time and voila ready to go.  T is now loaded and ready but wait…

I have to pee.

Since T is safely buckled in, I run (as fast as this postpartum body will allow) up the stairs to use the bathroom.  Washing my hands before I head back down and what’s that sound?! Is that RAIN?! COME ON.

Yes, torrential downpour.  Whatever, we’re going.

4:05p backing out of the driveway.

We made it, the signs came out adorable and in the end, I had to feed T in the Chipotle parking lot anyway.  This life is crazy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.


Erin Kasch

Erin is a Professional. Wife. Mother. She’s driven by her family, friends and a desire to put good out into the world. On the occasion that she has more than a minute to spare between work, momming and meal prep Erin likes to sew, bake and think about what would look great with a coat of chalk paint (she has yet to complete a single project).